麻煩各位大大幫我檢查這段話的文法 - 社會議題

麻煩各位大大幫我檢查這段話的文法有無錯誤,
如果有的話再PO上更改後的....
麻煩了~~~
Thank you so much.
I agree with the statement because of the following two reasons. First, I suppose a school may lose elite because of racial discrimination. For example, if there is an exceptional student preparing hard for the admission to a university, however, the school administrator or president doesn’t allow his admission since he belongs to a minority, then I think the school will lose an opportunity to cultivate a hardworking and promising student. Second, I think people are born equally, so it is not fair at all for people of certain races when the acquisition of admissions to university is determined according to races. Especially for those who work hard and perform well, I think they should have the same opportunity to be cultivated and that they should not be denied because of their races.
Update:
事實上,我是針對我們老師給我們的題目要寫一段essay
而這個題目如下:
The admissions to university should be completely based on meritocracy, regardless of the applicant’s races. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Provide specific reasons and evidence to support your arguments.